Dear mam

It's been your birthday today. The 2nd one today without you. It feels weird still. I feel sad but I got through the day by doing things I enjoy.
I am going to an open day on Friday. Peer support worker. I feel like I am finding my vocation.
I am finding out who "Dawn" is.
I do wonder if I really am happy or if I'm just pretending to be? I'm doing the whole "when i..." Thing that I usually do. 
Am I doing that because I want to make changes (job/house) or am I doing it because I'm unhappy and I feel this will make me happy?
I honestly don't know. 
I guess that's the problem. 
I have nobody who really knows me around anymore and I am just wondering what to do.
Anyway, I love you mam.
Dawn xxxx

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